Returning to a Familiar Culture: Are you being sarcastic...?

Danielle Taylor
Oct. 1, 2014
Cross-Cultural Prep
Dr. Kirsten Sheppard 

Returning to a Familiar Culture

          As a person who is considered low-context that will be studying in a country of the same nature, one of my greatest strengths is going to be my ability to communicate with residents of my host country directly and effectively.  One of the things I will be able to understand and, ultimately, appreciate because of this is that the blunt attitudes that others consider rude and even passive aggressive are common where I am from and where I am going.  There is no ill intent behind answering a question directly, and I want to be able to make a point of ensuring that people I meet are aware that I won't beat around the bush with them, whether it be in Germany, the United States, or another country.  Business is based on communication, and it is important that one can lay out the goals and milestones necessary to reach what they are working towards.

          However, the language barrier I will be facing may take away from some of that directness, so I need to be able to ask myself, "How can I say what I want without wasting time trying to come up with a round-about way to say it?"  I need to be able to focus on the goal and choose two or three descriptive words to portray what I want to say if I cannot think of how to say it directly.  As for my own culture, I hope to learn also the nuances behind what we say as compared to what someone in Germany might say.  Since they are more direct, I'm hoping that the bluntness I notice there will enable me to be more sensitive to the subtle differences in the way an American speaks to me.

Prompt 2: At least they're structured too...

When going over the cultural assessments and self assessment sheets I've come to find out that I'm a person who really doesn't do well with not knowing what's happening. Oddly enough these past few weeks have been the perfect example of that. I like to sit down, plan what's going to happen for the next day, and then stick to that plan as closely as I can. If I say we're going to eat at 12 pm then you can expect my bum in a chair eating some pasta at 12:15 at the latest. Yet, with what was going on with my family this week I've had to take things a day at a time. It's been an unnerving situation, and I honestly don't think I've been more stressed in my life until this point. At least I know that I can handle the situation now if it arises in the future, whether I like that fact or not.

Which leads me into my first strength, I'm a pretty adaptable person when it comes to stressful situations. I've learned how to make myself open to situations that I might not be comfortable and learn how to make the best of it. Being really structured and able to fix myself around this really helps in the chaos of trying to make a new place for myself in such a different culture. I do like to know what's going on, or will go on, and having a set plan is good for me, however if things need to change I'm able to live with it and go on, even if I have pretty low scores on flexibility. I'm open to trying new things, and that's what will help me get through. Another strength would be that I'm pretty independent, and I can rely on myself to help get things done. So with the combination of being structured and self reliant, I know that I can at least have several backup plans if one goes astray.

There are several weaknesses I have and problems I'm going to face, and all of them revolve around flexibility. I'm not happy with having spontaneous events or if things run late. I'm definitely not okay with having minimal information and vague answers. However, I know that I need to figure out other ways of communication that can get me the answers I'm seeking in a way that the other person can figure it out as well. The good thing is that with my country being low context, like me, I'm going to be able to get the things I'm seeking a lot easier than some others might have it. Germans are only slightly less direct than Americans so I'm going to have to adapt on not being so blunt and straightforward with communication and interactions.

Some things I hope to bring to the table when it comes to educating others would be the fact that not all Americans are prideful, boastful, freedom must ring people. Some of us can be quiet, down to earth, and yes, hate McDonald's and their hamburgers. I'm well versed in history so hopefully if that have questions on anything American in that department maybe I'll be able to answer them. Economy, government, and politics might not be my strong suit, but hey at least I can say why we have those things now. I know that I'm a pretty soft spoken person most of the time, and while sometimes I'm 'nice just to be nice' I know that my attitude and personality should be a bit of a shock to the expectations of my future German peers.

An American Abroad: Avoiding Stereotypes

The acceptance letter has finally arrived, and it has finally hit me that this is actually happening: I will be leaving for good ol' Germany in 5 months...what? I've never traveled out of the country before, so this endeavor will most definitely be a personal challenge. Luckily, I am more than ready to take this challenge and run with it. I believe that being an American abroad is a huge responsibility that I will have to uphold. Not only am I an ambassador for my school, but I am also (somewhat) of an ambassador for my home country. The possibility that I could be someone's first impression of an American is actually overwhelming to think about, but I think I can hold my own...hopefully.

Believe it or not, I actually do have some strengths that I can personally bring to the table when it comes to adapting and learning about the German culture. I've studied the German language for years, and throughout my studies I've not only had time to learn the language, but I've also had time to educate myself on most of the customs that are involved in the German culture. Being pretty comfortable in the language, I think I'll be able to hold my own when it comes to getting around town and talking to some of the people around me. However, I also plan on this being a challenge for me...speaking to a native German speaker is something I'm afraid of--fingers crossed that I don't offend anyone accidentally. Also, I find myself to be a pretty easy-going person in general. I think this will be a strength in the sense that I won't freak out if something doesn't go exactly according to plan. I am pretty lucky in the fact that Germany is relatively a low-context person, and I am very moderately placed on the high/low context scale, so I really am not too worried about adapting as much as I'm worried about the more simpler, basic things....like finding my way around and managing my finances. I believe my biggest challenge for me is my tendency to stay within my comfort zone. Deciding to go abroad was a huge step for me, and now that it's actually happening I'm continuously having to push myself to make sure I take in every moment of this adventure. I know for a fact that once I am in Germany I am going to have to constantly remind myself to just go and do things and stop worrying so much about...everything, really.

The main goal for me on this journey is to not be that American student that everyone jokes about...I want to avoid the " 'Murica lovin' southern girl" stereotype" at all costs. I want to prove to those who I meet while abroad that may assume I am just a hick from Tennessee who only believes whatever her Father believes, that I am in fact my own person. I make my own decisions, and I have a mind of my own. I can think critically and make a solid argument for myself. I believe if I can prove that not all Americans fall into the "'Murica" category, I will hopefully be able to open the eyes of the people I meet, which will allow them to view American students in a different, more positive, light.

Vamonos a Chile

Strengths

1)     Being independent

2)     Prioritizing

3)     Punctuality

4)     Staying on task

5)     Organizational skills

6)     Decision making

7)     Following directions

Besides the following strengths the most important to how I can adapt to a new culture would probably be the fact that I had to experience a new culture when moving to the U.S. Having a Latin background also makes me feel more comfortable with the idea of traveling to Chile. I understand it wont all be the same, but I feel a little more relieved because I can relate to the culture.

Challenges

1)     Asking for help

2)     Group work

3)     Trying new food

4)     Not having guidelines

5)     Go with the flow

6)     Starting a conversation

I am actually looking forward to these challenges because I think I will really benefit from them personally. I hope studying abroad will help me out of my comfort zone and make me a better-rounded individual. I do think these disadvantages will help me learn more about Chile. All my disadvantages deal with the fear of socializing with others, so by 

meeting new people and trying new foods together I think it will 

deepen my experience.

I really want to bring my traditions and music to Chile. I love listening to Spanish music, but one of my favorite genres of music is only local to my hometown in Mexico. I believe music and food really brings people together so I would like to expose my future friends and host family to my favorite food and music.

Crossing Borders and Breaking Boundaries

Crossing that Border to break that mold 

Taking yourself from a familiar setting and placing yourself in another is going to cause some cultural clash, whether or not you desire to see it. Dropping ice in a warm glass of tea will produce the same effect. Sometimes one is completely consumed, enveloped and assimilated into the culture of the tea, while other times it bobs uncontrollably, fighting to stay afloat while slowly coming to terms with its forthcoming acculturation. Each reaction is one of its own, each cube of ice reacts differently: clinging to others, cracking and popping, clinking against the glass, before accepting its fate. Depending on your tea, your country, and your own self standing will mold how your experience melts. Hot cold, your own icy temperature, each part comes into play, and understanding this will only prepare you more for the coming experience. 

Myself? I am confident, somewhat unbound by my fears, that my experience will grow from how my tea shapes me, takes me and makes me grow. The tea doesn't change me, my chemical make up, my inner self. These cultures won't take the inner most parts of me and remove what I am and I become it. Instead, merely, It changes my form, it thaws my cultural boundaries and allows me to evenly fade into the culture, take away what I need, while still holding what I am. 

My own life experiences ease my icy front, and allow a comfortable slip from one culture to the other. These ideas, values and examples are as follows:

I've been there before

 My travels there have already melted some of my own outsides, allowing the tea to already eat away at the outer shell of me. Having had the ability to insert myself into the culture before I go is something that will allow for a bit of comfort while I am abroad. The ability to also have others I know there--if it is needed--also helps the acculturation. Giving myself at least one person that I can talk to openly, that I can open up to allows for the removal of stress.

My ability to ask questions

I love people. People excite me on a level that nothing else has ever done. So walking up to people and asking questions is easy for me to do. My years of theatre and public speaking have washed away any fears of being looked at strangely and putting my needs ahead of that.

Fortunately, this has already helped me and been put into effect when I went to Toronto a couple of years back. Dead winter, snowing, wind chill, I get lost in downtown Toronto after going to see the CN tower with my boyfriend. The Hotel we were staying at was not even a block away, but one wrong turn sent us ten blocks in the wrong direction and almost to Lake Ontario. Oops. Going up to multiple people, I asked where I needed to go to get to a specific address, best way to get there, and used their advice to figure out what we needed to do.

Lets just say I was not a happy camper to have been lost, but thankful I found my way out.

Low Context Personality

Thankfully, my own personal context level is close to the context level that I will be moving into. This does not in any means, say that I will completely dive in and have no effects of culture shock. Unlikely. Instead, it means that I can use my own sense of self, and my understanding of the world and know that there is some equality there and knowing that is helpful. 

Bullheaded Nature

You could say this is a bad thing, but I also want to comment that it means I won't give in, and I will not allow for my own reservations to set me back. I know what I need to do, and I will make sure that an understanding of myself, and the mesh of others happens. Desire to grow within this adventure that life has given me won't be quenched by a fear that would hold me back.

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While there are good things, there are also a handful of things that I do need to work on. Keeping these faults in check, and understanding myself will allow for my transition from one place to the other to smooth itself, instead of seizing and shutting down. 

My introvert typing

I like being by myself, I like having my time. Brittany time is good time. I like to have time to read, to write, to relax and de-stress. While I will refuse to let this get in the way of making friends, I know for a fact that it could get into the way of going out of my way to do something in my pre-scheduled relaxation time.  

This could be easily fixed by making sure that the de-stressing time is framed in a time that no other conflicts arise and obtaining friends that understand the need to have alone time.

Lack of Exposure to Big Town Life 

Okay, well you know, I have lived in places with 50K people or less. Brock University itself has 17 thousand students in Enrollment, St. Catherine's has 130K people, and Toronto has over TWO MILLION. Okay. Listen. I love people, but again, I like my space. As long as I can find my niche, allow myself to dig a little hole and watch from there I should be fine. The struggle between going to a school with nearly six times the students will be hard, and the relationships with people will change, but I plan on working  through this.

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I hope to bring ideas of the states, I hope to make students understand that the sterotypes that are normally placed upon Americans are not true, and hope to grow the understanding between one country and another by placing comparisons for cultures within a class setting. I hope to bring forward ideas that aren't normally viewed and look at ideas through different facets.  But until you take that dive in, envelop yourself in the warmth of the tea, you can't do anything but prepare.

Where in the World?--Can This American Survive in North Africa?

The answer is yes!  I can (and will) survive in North Africa, Morocco to be more specific.  I may be an introvert, and I may have never traveled abroad by myself, but I will make the most out of my experience abroad and have a blast doing so.

Survival tactic #1: I know how to read a map that's not on my phone.  Yes, I can read a paper road/city/country map.  It's an almost antiquated skill now, but my dad made sure that I knew how to read a map in case I got lost anywhere and everywhere.  Ten points to Father Rigatti!

Survival tactic #2: I also know how to find public transportation and how to use it.  I didn't grow up in a big city, but my family traveled enough to Boston (one of the most confusing cities in the United States mind you because there is no grid system like other big cities) that I learned how to work the system pretty well.  Since this goes along with survival tactic #1, I'm only giving 5 points to the Rigatti Family this time.

Survival tactic #3:  Even though I'm a hardcore introvert, I'm not afraid to ask questions.  I used to be afraid.  Oh yes.  I wouldn't talk to anybody for anything even if I was lost and cold and hungry at one point in my life.  I have, however, overcome that fear and will now readily ask questions if I'm in a pickle.  I think this skill deserves more points because I overcame something in order to have it.  Fifteen more points to Taylor Rigatti!

Survival tactic #4:  Have an open mind.  I've been exposed to different cultures through other abroad experiences and interaction with international students at Maryville College.  It's so important to have an open mind and heart when learning about another culture because it keeps you from assuming too much about a people before you have first hand experience with them and what they believe.  My parents stressed to me at a young age that I should accept everyone for who they are and not to make assumptions based on their appearance or beliefs.  Twenty more points to the Rigatti Family.

Survival tactic #5:  Teach others about your own views and culture.  This is a skill that I'm still working on.  It can be difficult to not get upset when someone assumes something about you that is not true and won't stop harping about it.  I encountered this a couple times in Ghana, and it just frustrated me.  I need to learn to take criticism from others and to turn it into a learning point for them and myself.  I'm learning how people view the United States, and I'm trying to teach others that we're not all the same in the United States.  I'm taking 10 points from Taylor Rigatti because she's still working on this skill.

I'm very excited to go abroad (and survive) to learn about the culture within Morocco and the cultures of the different international students I'm sure I'm going to meet while there.  I want to show people that not all Americans are the same.  We don't all have the same mindset; we're just as diverse in this country as other countries are.  We're not all bigheaded and have few social skills like I've heard from people before.  That will be my biggest challenge: to not get offended when someone says something derogatory about me because I'm from the U.S.  It's something I struggled with in Ghana and Italy, but I'm trying to work on it before I go to Morocco.

Overall, I believe that I'm ready to go to Morocco, and I know that I will survive in a foreign country with a different language and culture from what I'm used to.  Let's get this show on the road!

Not Exactly My Forte

Believe it or not I'm not exactly great at everything. My high school physics teacher probably still thinks I'm not good at anything. However, there are definitely some things about myself besides my undying wit. So here comes the question... How is Eric Lipka going to make it in a school that has 30,000 people and speaks a completely different language? Great question.

I have had a few experiences abroad and I've found that I'm pretty good at a few things. The first is figuring out public transportation. I usually figure out the first by getting incredibly lost for about an hour then finding my way back. Which brings me to my second skill, not getting stressed out when I get lost. I know at some point in the capital city of the Jiangxi province that I will get lost. I will get so painfully lost, but it will probably be one of the best experiences while I'm studying abroad because it will help me to figure out the city a little better which will in turn help with my intentional assimilation into the Chinese culture that I have been desiring. My next strength is food. I LOVE food. Not like the people who instagram pictures of all of their meals. I don't put pictures of my food up because I like to treat each meal like an intimate love affair that I don't want anyone else to know about. I am so looking forward to the food while I am in China. I really am looking forward to that because I want to see just how different it is from the Americanized version of Chinese food. While a part of hopes for the streets to be paved with Chinese fried chicken wings, I know that won't be the case. Which brings up the final strength that I hope to discuss which is flexibility. I know that things don't always go the way we expect them to. I worked for a non-profit for a year, and that experience taught me flexibility beyond my wildest dreams.

With all of these strengths you must be saying "Gosh Eric, are you going to have any problems?" Yes... yes I am. I found out last class that I'm a pretty low context person. When I say "pretty low context" I mean I was an outlier for the class. What does that mean about me? Well I tend to have very direct conversations with people. I don't really like conversations that don't get to the point that I'm trying to get at. This doesn't mean I don't occasionally dive into a significant conversation, but it's only really when I want to. I'm bad at maintaining a large number of friends, so I usually only have a small number of friends that I'm really close to that know a lot about me and then my family. This makes me nervous because China was very high on the high context culture, but I'm flexible. I can put on my high context pants and give it all a shot. Because it is happening.

There is one other thing that I have been a little nervous on that I encountered in Ghana. In Ghana tattoos are incredibly rare and there was a stigma on people that had them. I'm very proud of my tattoos and they are very visible. I'm also very sensitive about them and I really don't like situations where I have to cover them up because of what they stand for to me. In doing some research tattoos have become a little more common in China, but there is still a pretty large stigma towards them. That is something about America that I will be bringing on my trip. In this country, whether my parents wanted to hear it or not, it is not the strangest concept to see people with very visible tattoos. A lot of my friends my age have at least one. However, that doesn't seem to be the case in China, and I am worried about how being a white, male, tattooed American will impact my time in China.

There are things I am worried about and other things that I am so excited for, and either way I will find myself exercising another one of my strengths. Jumping in. Feet first and ready to take on a brand new experience.