My Goals for Studying Abroad

I don't think I can talk about my goals and feelings towards study abroad without discussing the roadblocks that have risen up in recent days that may or may not prevent me from going abroad at all. This past week I was informed I didn't not get accepted as an exchange student to my university of choice. Right now I am stuck between laying down thousands of more dollars to be a direct student in Sharjah next spring, studying else where, or not leaving the country at all.

Before this week all I felt was impatient and ready to leave; I studied in India last January and fell in love with travel and couldn't wait to go away again. I knew the UAE was where I wanted to be to further studied Islamic faith and culture. I was prepared for Fall semester to be filled with anticipation for the next semester. Now I feel pretty lost and anxious, because I have no idea where I am right now.

Since last winter, all I've thought about was going somewhere new and even further expanding my intellectual and personal perspectives. I had fought so hard to convince my family to let me go to the Middle East, a place they all had, within some reason, viewed as too dangerous for me to be living in alone. The thought that the opportunity I fought so hard for is possibly slipping away is heart-wrenching.

Nevertheless I will keep fighting, as hard as I can, to have some sort of study abroad experience this year. It's something that is important enough to me that I won't go quietly. I fear though, that maybe despite my fighting, in the end I won't get to go.

((also sorry for the drama but this is all i can think about right now though soooo))