The never ending journey that never began (at least not yet)

Its almost as if I have embarked on a never ending journey; Except... I haven't even left yet. The question at hand is WHERE WILL I EVEN STUDY?! yes question mark, exclamation mark. It seems as though as of yesterday, nothing is certain or guaranteed or permanent or any other word that fits that description.

More than anything I wish I knew where I was going but i'm attempting to cope with the fear of the unknown (which isn't easy i might add.) 

Since my options went from 3, to 2 to back to 2 and now at almost 9, ill be happy to just write about the general experience.

hmmm.... the never ending, recurring question: "Why do I want to study abroad?" Besides that fact that it is required, i almost consider it required for my life. My ultimate goal of this whole experience would be to come back fluent in Spanish. Spanish, both the culture and language, is a big part of my life. Both of my grandparents and mother are fluent in the language and adding a fourth to that clan would finally make all copasetic in my immediate family's world.

This past summer I made my religious pilgrimage to the Vatican, as the devout Catholic that I am. This spring I hope to make my pilgrimage SOMEWHERE in Latin America. I feel that it is my duty and a requirement of my grandmother that I do this; basically part of the life contract that she signed me up for.

Studying Abroad comes with many perks, and many down falls. I wish to experience both. I wish to be placed in a place that will challenge my learning abilities and make me think on my feet. I wish to be able to think in spanish, and communicate more quickly than i can now in my english based surroundings.

I experienced a sort of international financial crisis this summer while in Italy. lesson learned: MONICA THE EURO/ EXCHANGE RATE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. That is why i have chosen to go elsewhere( Latin America) and hopefully get the most bang for my buck while traveling and studying, and being a 21 year in a different country for 15+ weeks. I want to learn a new way of life, and hopefully carry those practices over to my life in America. (preferably the siesta part).

I like to consider my self a generally fearless person given the fact that i signed my life away on my 18th birthday to jump out of a perfectly working airplane at 10,000 feet for pure enjoyment? But SPANISH SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME. Communicating my english thoughts into spanish and regurgitating them to a person who probably doesn't really understand what i'm saying is a SCARY thought.

I knew college was hard, and finding the right college for you is even harder. The studying abroad process falls into its own category and quite possibly one of the circles of hell in Dante's Inferno.

Chile? Costa Rica? Argentina? Puerto Rico? Colombia? Where will it be? Where in the world will Monica be?

To be continued...